


I See Dead People!

by LadyofAvalon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: X-wing Series - Aaron Allston & Michael Stackpole
Genre: Gen, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-11
Updated: 2012-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-07 12:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofAvalon/pseuds/LadyofAvalon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Janson!  First it was just a bad day for Wes Janson.  Now it was Endor.  And the ewoks were coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See Dead People!

**Author's Note:**

> This, like Janson! was written for a challenge at the Jedi Council Forums. It was the Movie Quote Roulette Challenge, in which I received the quote ""I see dead people" from The Sixth Sense.

**Day 1**

"I hate you, Wedge. I really do…"

"I'm aware of that, Wes. But it's really not my fault that we got stuck here."

"Yes, it is! You were the one piloting the ship!"

"You knocked me unconscious."

"I did not!"

"Why are you so argumentative today?"

"Because we're stuck on the forest moon of Endor because _you_ crashed the ship, and Zane, Jakan, Face, and Kell are all stuck here with us. They're going to murder me, Wedge! Jakan still hasn't forgiven me for that time I pranked him…"

"You could always go live with the Ewoks, you know."

"I might just do that."

* * *

**Day 2**

" _WEEEESSS!"_

"I didn't do it!"

"What didn't you do?"

"Shut up, Kell. You'll tell them where I am!"

"What did you do this time, Wes?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Then why are you hiding?"

"Zane found honey."

"Oh, blast it all!"

"I told you so!"

"Remind me why we're stuck here again?"

"Wedge."

"That's your theory and you're sticking to it, aren't you?"

"I AM NOT STICKING TO ANYTHING!"

"Put a cork in it! You know how Zane gets when he has sugar!"

"It's not my fault!"

"What did you do?"

"He may have accidentally tripped over me and fallen into a vat of the honey a bunch of Ewoks were carrying…"

"So it _is_ your fault…"

"It is not!"

"I would run if I were you. I think I see Jakan…"

"Sithspit!"

"I thought you said that would calm him down!"

"I thought it would! It was supposed to!"

"I SEEEEE DEAD PEOPLEEEEEE!"

"Great job, Wes. Now he's seeing things."

"It's not my fault! Face said it would work!"

"WHY IS THE FISH COMING TOWARD ME?"

"Face said it would work?"

"Yes, Face said it would work."

"I don't think it worked."

"Where did he get the spork?"

"I don't know. I didn't even know we even had one."

"Well, it's better than the rubber duck…"

"THE WIZARD NEEDS FOOD!"

"Wedge?"

"Yes?"

"What's a wizard?"

"THE DEAD PERSON IS TRYING TO EAT ME!"

* * *

**Day 3**

"Why do _I_ get stuck babysitting him?"

"Because it was your fault, Wes. Don't let him anywhere near the Ewoks. We don't want another incident."

"Why can't we just take him with us?"

"Because we have to walk halfway across the planet, and Zane is in no shape to be traipsing that distance after that honey incident."

"But why do I have to babysit him, Jakan?"

"Because it was your fault. Deal with it."

"I hope the Ewoks eat you."

* * *

"Wes, what's that?"

"It's a food pearl."

"Where?"

"There."

"Can I eat it?

"No."

"But it's a food pearl."

"Too bad."

"So, can I eat it?"

"No."

"Aw, come on! Let me eat it!"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because! It's a PEARL!"

"But it's a _food_ pearl. So, can I eat it?"

"No! You'll break a tooth!"

"But it's food."

"It's a pearl!"

"Food!"

"Pearl!"

"FOOOOOOOODD!"

"…I give up. Go eat your pearl and spend the night moaning."

"Thank you, Wes!"

"Shut up, Zane."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"SPORK! I NEED A SPORK! The pearl is tough to chew…"

"Ya think? Break a tooth yet?"

"No- OWWW! YES!"

"Ha! I win!"

"Yowr sow main wen yowr tirwed."

"That's because you kept me up all night."

"Tha washn' meh faulht."

"Yes, it was."

"Sowry, Wes."

"It's fine, Zane. Is the honey finally wearing off?"

"I shink sho. Why dith yow le' meh fwy tow ate tha'?"

"I don't know. Why do you have your hand in your mouth?"

"Ai bwrok a toof."

"Well, if you get your hand out of there, it might help. What happened to the pearl?"

"Ai dunno. Gone, gone, gone."

"You are _so_ helpful…"

"Ai fink ai liked yow befew when yow wern' sawcasic."

"Good to know, Zane. Now be quiet. I want to see what that noise is."

"Whaever."

"RUN!"

"WHY?"

"EWOKS! AND THEY'RE MAD!"

"WWWWEEEEEESSSSSSS!"

"Not my fault!"

"Ai hate yow!"

"Shut up and run!"

* * *

"Ai hate yow. When ai ge' owet of dis, ai am gonna muwdew yow."

"What was that, Zane? Did you just say Mewdew?"

"MUWDEW!"

"Mewdew?"

"NO! Muwdew!"

"What was that again?"

"Ai hate yow."

"I believe you've said that before."

"Shuddup."

"Whatever, crazy boy."

"WES!"

"What?"

"Shuddup!"

"Fine!"

"Fank yow."

"Sure. I hope we don't get eaten…"

"WES!"

"WHAT?"

"Don' do tha'!"

"Sorry. Is your mouth feeling better? The slurring isn't as bad…"

"Yeah. Now shuddup."

"I was only expressing concern for you!"

"Don' care. Shuddup."

"You're mean, Zane."

"Wha'ever."

* * *

"Sorry the ewok hit you with his club after the whole food pearl thing."

"S'okay. I think my mouth isn't as swollen now, since you were quiet for about ten minutes. My teeth still hurt, though…"

"At least you can talk. And that was actually three hours."

"Why be so technical? We're still stuck in a hut, tied up, and probably on the menu for dinner tonight…"

"You know, we could probably get out of these ties, since they're nothing but dried vines."

"Yes, but they're nothing more than really strong dried vines."

"Your point?"

"You do realize that General Solo and Master Skywalker almost got eaten because they couldn't get out when they were here before the Battle of Endor, right?"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Hey, can you try to get the vibroblade in the pocket near my ankle?"

"Maybe."

"Would you?"

"Say please."

"PLEASE!"

"No need to shout."

"OW!"

"Sorry! I did not mean to do that!"

"You sure could have fooled me!"

"At least I got the vibroblade…"

"I'll forgive you if you don't injure me any further while cutting me and yourself out of these vines."

"Whatever you say, Janson."

"Can it, Zane."

"Why is it that you're always so mean when things like this happen?"

"Because they always happen to _me_!"

"Good point."

"Uh-huh."

"Got it!"

"Finally! Now get me out!"

"Sure thing, Grand Ewok."

"I don't think I like ewoks as much anymore."

"You'll get over it when we get back."

"True. I do need to plant that stuffed ewok in Wedge's X-wing when we get back…"

"Wes?"

"Yeah?"

"The ewoks are coming. RUN!"


End file.
